‘Fantasy: The Art of Riding Tubes’ (F.A.R.T.S. for short) by Dave Gray
A piece in a 1979 copy of ‘Wight Water’, the Isle of Wight Surf club’s magazine
In addition to his undeniable talents as a malibu surf rider, Dave Gray has submitted the following piece for inclusion in this August periodical. An ostentatious little ditty, he has, however left it untitled, but the editorial staff know it as ‘Fantasy: The Art of Riding Tubes’ (F.A.R.T.S. for short).
I heard this morning that the surf was good,
Compton was eight foot and pumping, like it should
And just like I would, like a real surf-dog,
I told my boss he could stuff his job.
I ran down the street and into my van
And I changed into my wetsuit as fast as I can (could) (sic)
Breaking the speed limit,
Thinking ’bout the surf
And how I should be in it.
I drove down the hill
And shouted oh shat –
You know what?
It was bloody FLAT.